Kendall tells you how it be!!!!

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Banana Pudding

I can't find a recipe to make the kind of banana pudding that I want to make anywhere. I like banana pudding, but I want the bananas to be totally incorporated within the pudding. I don't want to layer bananas on the bottom of a bowl and put vanilla pudding on top of all of it. This isn't very fair. I had this pie. It was wonderful. Does anyone know how to make the kind of banana pudding that I want? If you do I will love you forever. I have a headache.

Posted at 03:44 pm by Kendall
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It's raining, It's pouring

It's been raining a lot lately. I don't really like the rain, particularly in summer. I don't like hot weather, but rain makes wearing flip flops a lot more hazardous than it usually is. I went grocery shopping last night and it was raining pretty hard but I wanted to wear sandals. I almost fell about a million times. Later I am gonna go to Famous Footwear and buy some shoes that will hold up in the long, hard, cold, horrible Maine winter. I wish winter here lasted as long as summer. Instead winter is about 15 months long and it's just gross out.

Just so everyone knows, my yogurt pops turned out great. My favorite combo is blueberry, orange, and raspberry. Does anyone know where one can purchase a really good banana pudding? I bought some Jello brand banana cream pudding last night and it came out horribly. It tasted like powdered cheap banana flavored candy and milk. I think I might buy some bananas, puree them, and add some milk or whipped cream or something to make it a little less banana and more banana cream.

If you haven't noticed yet, I have a link to a really great, new site done by my friend Amanda. It as a lovely journal and will include some original artwork done by Amanda herself. You should definitely check it out: Tints & Shades! Go see it, if you don't I will be angered with you and Zeus will thrown down lightning bolts and kill you. Bye Bye!!!!

Posted at 11:50 am by Kendall
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Thursday, July 31, 2003

Hello again.......

It seems like it has been ages since I have shared any of my thoughts with you, dear journal. I think it has only been 4 days or so. Well not too much happened since then. I did a little shopping for school, I practiced my driving (which i suck at), and I recently made some popsicles. It doesn't seem like much on paper, but when you've lived through it, its mind-numbing. Excuse me while I contradict myself for awhile. I took Jura for a walk and saw this really small dog. It had a really weird bark for a dog that small. You think a small dog would have a small or high pitched bark. I was very wrong. It wasn't a huge, booming bark, but it was definitely strange. I was gonna use the word weird there instead of strange, but it feels like I say "weird" too often. Anyway, I really have nothing important to say anymore, so whatever. Bye!

Posted at 03:02 pm by Kendall
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Saturday, July 26, 2003

The Smelliest Night Ever!

Last night had to be one of the grossest and smelliest nights I have ever experienced, second only to the time my dog dug up the decomposing body of my rat, Genevieve. My dog has this habit of finding her way outside and then just running wild for about 20 minutes. As soon as she sees a clear exit she bolts for it and there is little that can be done to stop her. The good thing about this habit is that she always returns home when she has had her share of cat crap and needs to wet her whistle. She always runs after people she doesn't know though, which isn't that great. So anyway, she got outside at about 8 pm. She returned home about 30 minutes later reeking of skunk. That's right........she got SKUNKED. If you've never smelled skunk upclose thank your lucky stars. It's not just like any smell......it attacks every sense. It's like being enveloped in a musky cloud of hate. Then my parents decided to burn some patchouli (I cant spell). They forgot that patchouli STINKS almost as horribly as skunk. It was so disgusting.....I thought I was gonna vomit. I already had a headache before all this happened, but all those horrible smells just made it worse. Now she smells better as does my house, but it was soooooo gross I can't bring myself to pay as much attention to her as I usually do. I know I am a horrible pet owner and I will burn in hell. I watched Blue Lagoon this morning on TBS the Superstation. That movie is really about nothing. Kids on boat, kids on island with drunk, drunk dies, they grow up, they have kid, they commit suicide, they are rescued by Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World. Out loud it seems like a very action packed movie. It really isn't though. It just kinda drags and there are tropical birds and island people. Later I watched The Adventures of Pricsilla, Queen of the Desert. That movie has some great music. But Terence Stamp has to be the ugliest woman I have ever seen.

Posted at 07:23 pm by Kendall
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Friday, July 25, 2003

News Flash: I'm a girl!

It has come to my attention that some people who read my blog assume that I am a guy. I guess that name threw you off. I kinda wanted to announce that I was a girl in a message, but I decided to do it on the side bar so it would be a little more discreet. I guess it was a bit too subtle for all of you. To Cat, I am not pessimistic nor am I of the masculine persuasion. You don't know my sister and the vague description that I gave of her really didn't do justice to the real thing. And I have told her straight out that what she does annoy me to no extent. So anyway, I was wondering if anyone knew how to access other people's blogs, besides the most recently updated ones.......if you do I would like to know. Today was lots of great fun. My best friend, Amanda, came over and we took some pictures with my digital camera. Most of them came out really blurry or just plain bad. It started to rain and I bought candy. It actually rained pretty hard there for awhile, it was a downpour. It smelled like wet pavement. Tomorrow I am gonna put a lock on my door so my sister can't barge in at six in the morning to steal a shirt or necklace or my body spray. She does that all too often. I should also be getting a new bed real soon. My old bed is a piece of crap and I just want to beat it up. There are a ton of springs that just gouge at me all night. Also the bed is just too short. You know what, I really have nothing important to say. Here are so great picures of my pets!

Maggie in some type of plant

Jura up close

Bye for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 06:34 pm by Kendall
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Thursday, July 24, 2003

Relationships are sooooo horrible

All of my life, I have been stuck in the exact same spot in my relationships with people. It's like this hideous cycle that keeps going and going and nothing ever changes. It has to be the most frustrating and stressfull thing I have to deal with. I bottle up my rage over how my sister treats me, and then one day she goes too far and I seriously explode. I just yell and scream and cry until I am exhausted. Then things cool off, but everything is still exactly the same. I want to talk to my parents about it, but they can be the most useless people some times. I could tell them that my sister just molested me, and they wouldn't bat an eyelash. My mom constantly expects me to forgive my sister.........over and over again and I just cant do it anymore. She always tells me that you have to accept people for who they are and that being mad at someone just gives them control over you. That is the last thing a pissed of person wants to hear. I want her to tell me that I am justified in being upset with my sister. But no! It's almost like she thinks my sister deserves forgiveness and a millionth-chance and I don't deserve anything. Just thinking about how mad all this makes me, makes me just want to cry and cry. Sometimes I feel like I am more of a parent to my sister than our parents are. That is something you shouldn't feel about your 12 year old sister when you are 8. They just gave up on her before she became a teenager. I wish I could express myself better, but I don't know how. That's another thing my dear mother has screwed up in me. I have such a problem expressing myself. Whenever I get upset about anything, she turns it all around on herself so I feel even worse because she says what a horrible mother she is. I know now never to tell my mom and my sister anything. It's useless. It will all just start again and I will be soooooo mad and I just want to get away from them so it will all stop.

Posted at 09:56 pm by Kendall
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I really am obsessed

I thought that I would share with all of you one of my favorite reads. It's called The Left Hander's Book of Days by Leigh W. Rutledge. This book has taught me so much about left-handedness, human nature, and the history of life. Did you all know that Barry Bonds(1964)-U.S. baseball player, Pat Oliphant(1935)-Australian-U.S. political cartoonist, Dan Hedaya(1940)-U.S. Actor, Simon Bolvar(1783-1830)-Venezuelan soldier/statesman, and Instant Coffee were born today. This book also talks about the hardships left handed people have had to endure in the past, when left -handedness was seen as something evil. I realize now that I am the only person who finds all this remotely cool. What should I talk about. I realized that I am not writing this as a journal, but more as a book for other people to read. I don't talk to myself, I talk to all of you. Well I will talk to myself. Hey me! I promised my friends at Musicals.net, that I would include my thoughts and feelings about all of my favorite musicals. If you've never been to musicals.net you should check it out. It has info and discussions on many popular musicals. My three favorite musicals are: CATS, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Joseph and the really pretty coat (that name is just too long). If you know about musicals, you can tell that I am a big Andrew Lloyd Weber freak. If you don't, then you are missing out. I was really obsessed with CATS last year, I even made a really crappy tribute site last summer. Fortunately (and Unfortunately) I have moved on.................except for one thing, I still think Michael Gruber is the coolest person ever not to mention good-looking!!!!

As Munkustrap (a character) I don't think he went to Yale

Bye for a few moments at least!!!

Posted at 08:49 pm by Kendall
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A Special Poem for You..

I've noticed that other people like to publish their poetry here.......and so I thought I would do the same. I wrote this poem after my last attempt at suicide. I was in a very dark place then, very raw. I decided, after many hours of therapy, that the only way to truly heal was to go deep inside of myself and find the place in my heart where the "Real Kendall" lived. This poem is the result..........

CHIMES

Outside the delapidated trailer,
Five tin cans strung together, Clang! Clang! Clang!

in the slow, murky breeze.
Patches of weeds and dandelions droop in defeat and dehydration.

The bird feeder, so lovingly crafted, lies in mutilated
pieces on the rough ground.
Chips of Pea soup green paint gather slowly in the dirt.
Beer bottles, and shards of glass thrown dangerously in the grass.
And the squirrel and raccoon continue their slow, mournful waltz

-Kendall

Posted at 07:36 pm by Kendall
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Fights and Banana Cream Pie

I just basically had the mother of all fights with my stupid naked sister. She wanted her boyfriend to call, forcing me to get off the internet, and then didn't give up the phone for about an hour. This doesn't seem like much, but after 17 years of just being around her has made me a very evil person at times. I spent sooooo many hours listening to her cry and sob and dry heave when her old boyfriend broke up with her. But she never listens to anything I say......she stares blankly off into the distance and I just want to bash her head in. A few minutes ago I was trying to explain to her why I have been so hostile towards her lately and she made fun of me the whole time. Basically I am never speaking to that worthless piece of crap ever again for anything. It is so disgusting to think that we share sooooo many genes. It makes me wish I was adopted (I've always wished she was). So anyway, there are the details of our falling out. My mom and dad went to Wal-Mart and are gonna bring me some banana cream pie. I guess the evening wasn't a total loss!

Posted at 07:14 pm by Kendall
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Sisters SUCK

I am so disgusted by my sister at this point that I just want to beat her up. She just walks around butt naked allllllllllll the time. She practically makes a game of it. I realize she is sans clothing so I look away at all costs. She doesn't know that I know she is naked so she tries to get my attention. It is all so sick and twisted. I mean it's great that she is so comfortable with her own body, but that doesn't mean that I should be ok with seeing it ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then tonight after dinner she took off the one article of clothes she was wearing (a nightgown), and started demanding that someone buy her candy. She is like a three year old, buck naked and demanding a sugar high. I just want to throw up. She is twenty and has a job, she should be able to provide her own candy. She acts as if it is someone elses' responsibility to meet her sugar needs. Then I started yelling, and my mom got all weird on me. She only likes conflict when she is involved, well I should say she only tolerates it then. What upsets me doesn't really concern her since she never acknowledges what I am saying. No one said parents were understanding or fair. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Makes me soooooooooo angry. My mom better buy me a banana cream pie or I am gonna be so pissed.

Posted at 06:20 pm by Kendall
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